How to have the best sex of your life in 2024
As we approach 2024, many of us are considering how we can better ourselves in the new year. It’s likely that resolutions will include things such as eating better, committing to new hobbies or improving finances. But what about sex?
Setting yourself some pleasure resolutions to chip away at over the next 12 months can ensure that you don’t continue to push this part of your life down your list of priorities. Instead of the shame, frustration and conflict within your relationship that you may currently be experiencing, creating these resolutions will mean you’ll soon be able to reap the benefits of a strengthened connection with your partner. Additionally, you’ll gain gratitude for what your body is capable of and increased joy and confidence within yourself .
Whether you’re writing your pleasure resolutions solo or with a partner (or partners), I recommend that you start by reflecting on your sexual experiences during 2023. You can consider what sexual growth you’re proud of, your favourite sexy moments (and why you liked them so much), and what things have worked well that you want to bring into the new year with you.
Looking at the previous year through a positive lens, even if you need to focus on minute moments to find some positivity amongst your experiences, will help you to feel motivated and capable as you move forward with your resolutions.
However, it’s also beneficial to consider the things that haven’t worked for you. You can list out the aspects of your sex life that have led to arguments within your relationship or have made you feel stressed, ashamed or frustrated.
As you do this, remind yourself that just because you have experienced these things, it does not mean that you will continue to experience them, particularly if you’re committed to creating change.
It can also be relieving to know that, no matter what you’ve experienced, you’re not the only one. I see many clients who feel broken and alone in what they’re experiencing when, in fact, millions of other people are facing the same struggle. This realisation can diminish feelings of shame while also leading to the understanding that if so many people have experienced the same issues, there must be well-documented, easy-to-access solutions.
Now it’s time to turn this list of things which haven’t worked for you into your resolutions for 2024. Frame these in positive ways that highlight what you do want for yourself and your relationship, considering both the tangible changes that you want to see (like trying spanking for the first time or to have your first g-spot orgasm) as well as how you want to feel (confident, sexy, capable etc.).
You can take a moment here to feel excited about the prospect of what your sex life could look and feel like by this time next year.
An essential part of this process is to be realistic about the potential challenges that may present themselves along the way, an approach which has been proven to make goal-setting more successful. These could include a lack of knowledge about how to actually have the g-spot orgasms you’re desiring, or a shortage of time that will make it more challenging to have the quantity of sex you’re aspiring towards this coming year.
Making a note of these challenges then allows you to plan how to minimise the impact that they will have. You can consider the wealth of tools, resources and sources of support available to you that will make this process stress-free, enjoyable and exciting. This may include recruiting the guidance of a professional in this field who can hold you accountable to bringing your sexual goals to fruition by the end of the year while providing you with tailor-made solutions.
Write your sexual resolutions on a post-it note to live on your fridge or set reminders in your calendar to check on your progress throughout the year.
You’ll be amazed at how much you can achieve within just 12 months when you remain committed to your sexual transformation.
*First published on Stuff.co.nz